Inspiration Motivation

1.Suzannah.com,$1,020 2. Balmain.com, $2,575 3. Marni, $400 4. Vidya, $28 5. Kenneth Jay Lane $120 6. Chanel 7. Stila Lip gloss, $ 12

In honor of John F. Kennedy's birthday today, I wanted to pay tribute to one of America's most beloved fashion icons, his wife.  Here's some fun facts about the late Jackie:

♥ She is the first and only catholic first lady

♥She and John F. Kennedy got engaged on my birthday, June 25 in 1953

♥At 31 she was one of the youngest first ladies

♥Jackie gave a televised tour of the White House after she restored it

♥She spent $45,466 dollars more on fashion than the $100,000 annual salary her husband earned as President

♥ Jackie is recognized as being the single biggest fashion influence in history

When the going gets tough Pt. 3

There are times in a relationship when it feels like more work then fun.  When that time comes you may be tempted to flee,  be hostile or isolate yourself.  If you are in a committed relationship you know how harmful that can be to your relationship.  I am doing to do a series on getting through the tough times in a relationship.  Hoping to help anyone that is going through this and also as therapy for myself. The first part of the series we talked about knowing your coping mechanism, the second part dealt with honesty. Here is the link to both parts. 

The last step in the "when the going gets tough series" is to communicate.  Communication is tricky.  It has to be the right time for communication to be used as a mending tool.  In long term relationships we tend to get defensive. Once your guard goes up it will be hard for any positivity to occur.  It will end up being the blame game or silent game or blow off game or a screaming match.

Sometimes you have to drop a conversation and pick it back up after both contenders have completely cooled off.  It's hard to know the exact time when you should have the talk but when the right moment approaches you'll know.  It's not going to be on your time, and not necessarily their time but it will be a time of peace.  That is when you both can get your points across without all the forceful components.

You may have the same argument over and over again because it's not the right time to communicate but when you get it right you will be glad you had the talk.  Nine times out of ten you are both harboring secret feelings that the other doesn't know about and genuinely listening will allow you and your mate to feel comfortable sharing them.

 Don't make the mistake and think a man doesn't have feelings because they do. Sometimes it is harder for them to be in touch with their own emotions so have patience (a good friend told me that). After all, love is patient. Once you feel understood then proving a point will no longer be the goal. At the end of the day all we want is to be heard and for our feelings to be validated.

When the going gets tough Pt.2

There are times in a relationship when it feels like more work then fun.  When that time comes you may be tempted to flee,  be hostile or isolate yourself.  If you are in a committed relationship you know how harmful that can be to your relationship.  In the first part of this series we talked about finding your coping mechanism and why you cope the way you do.  Hoping to help anyone that is going through this and also as therapy for myself. To see Part one here is the link.This is the second part of the "When the Going Gets Tough".

Being honest with your situation means making a commitment to work on your relationship when it gets tough, or coming to the realization that the relationship isn't what you both want. Your relationship has to be a commitment that you're willing to give the amount of effort it takes to see it through the tough times.

You must get to the root of the problem.  Are you depressed? Are you taking things out on him when it has nothing to do with him? It is impossible to be in a happy relationship if you aren't happy with yourself.  The next step is to evaluate how you feel about your relationship within yourself.  Likewise your mate.  If one of you is feeling incomplete there is no way one can give themselves to another completely.

If one or both of you aren't happy within yourselves then you may need a break from each other so that you can solely focus on yourself.  For example when I took a break I stayed at my house everyday instead of spending the night with him. That gave me time to establish my own identity again even though we still saw each other for a couple of hours everyday. We looked forward to the hours we would spend together again.  I took on projects that gave me confidence and that made me happy. Even if you live with each other try to do things that you like to do away from the house. Try to spend time with friends or family members.  A little space can do wonders for a relationship that's going through a rough patch. It actually gives you time to appreciate each other and get to the bottom of why you're relationship is going through the ringer.

When the going gets tough. PT 1.

There are times in a relationship when it feels like more work then fun.  When that time comes you may be tempted to flee,  be hostile or isolate yourself.  If you are in a committed relationship you know how harmful that can be to your relationship.  I am going to do a series on getting through the tough times in a relationship.  Hoping to help anyone that is going through this and also as therapy for myself.

How do you deal with animosity in your relationship?
Do you get irritable and snap at your mate?  Do you act like everything is OK, when they're not?  Do you find ways to stay apart more?  Whatever your coping mechanism is you really need to be genuine with yourself and your situation.

For instance I know I cope with relationship problems internally. I hold it in until I burst or I'm coaxed to purge.  I know... not healthy at all.  However, I grew up in a strict single parent home, Mom was too busy trying to survive to listen.  Expressing yourself out of adversity as a child was a bit unheard of.  You're a kid, you're not supposed to have worries....Wrong! I keep this burden of silence with me to this day when I feel completely overwhelmed with emotions. Knowing your coping mechanism helps you figure out if you may have some issues that you need to address.

I would encourage you to take the time out to recognize you're coping mechanism. Once you do try to pinpoint exactly why you cope like you do.  If you cope an unhealthy way then you may need to try to correct it or at least acknowledge your issue.

Next Tuesday let's discuss the 2nd point...Honesty in your situation.

Styled by June

Yesterday was the premiere of June Ambrose's new reality show "Styled by June". June Ambrose is a celebrity stylist who has worked with Hollywood's most popular like: Jay Z, Mariah Carey, Kanye West, Mary J Blige, Sean "Diddy" Combs and Jaime Foxx. June Ambrose is showing the person behind the big hats, giant shades and the designer clothes. People who aspire to be in the fashion industry can take notes from June. Not only does she have great fashion sense but, she has a lovely personality also. Her style is quirky, fun and classy.  Styled by June comes on Mondays on VH1.