May 30, 2011

Things to discuss before moving in together

After plenty research and advice these are some of the most important things to discuss before you decide to move in together:

1. Finances - Of course two is better than one but can you depend on your partner to keep up their end of the deal? Learning the ends and outs of the financial situation will cause a lot less arguments in the future.

2. Merging - Are you comfortable having someone else in your space? When you lived with your parents you still had your own room. Living with your partner will not allow you to have the same luxury so make sure you both recognize the need for personal space. Also make your place a home for both of you, you can do this by making sure your partner has a say in every major decision about your home (decor, pets, home maintenance and etc.).

3. Goals/Ideals - Are you in the same place or heading in the same direction? Are you both moving in because you want to build a future together? When you think about the goals you have in life does your partner fit into them? When you live together it is no longer just about you, you have to always think about this other person and their feelings, does your future goals allow you to do that?

4. Priorities - It is important that you discuss your number one priorities. You both must realize that life outside of your relationship does happen, therefore you need to communicate what your top priorities are and that you may not always be your partner’s number one priority. If you are focused on a career, school, family the other person in the relationship needs to be made aware of that and set boundaries during these affairs. Your partner cannot be your only support system and it’s unfair to put that pressure on them. If your partner has any of these issues respect them and work around them.

5. Schedules - If your partner has a different schedule then yours you need to respect their sleep time PERIOD and vice versa. Weather you will eat together/separate, who will cook and on what days is also something that should be discussed as well. You will need to know what to expect from each other.

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